Author: Molly

  • When Life Flips Upside Down

    Molly

    I’ve listened to Purple Rain by Prince about a hundred times in the last two months. It’s my comfort song when I’m feeling lonely or down, it has been since I first got it on vinyl when I was fourteen. I would set the record up, turn the volume on high, and lay in my Read more

  • Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes

    Molly

    For the last three years, I’ve thought that breaking the cycle meant leaving. The cycle of generational trauma, accepting abusive behaviors, and making myself small to extend space for others. I held firm to the quote, “We break the cycle before the cycle breaks us.” It’s been my lifeline on the darkest of days, when Read more

  • New Year, Same Me – Revisited

    Molly

    Sometimes, I fall into the trap of believing that I am the most unsuccessful, incapable person that has ever existed. I look at the list of my accomplishments, and they’re always towered by my list of ‘to do’s.’ I’m never content with myself, because I have an unreasonably high standard for myself. My brain both Read more

  • No More

    Molly

    ,

    When I was eight years old, I stared up at my father in tears, as he held a gun to my face. It’s a memory burned in my brain, a night I can never forget. Hearing the crash, watching him stand over me, hiding with my sister, running barefoot to our neighbors for safety; watching Read more

  • Reclamation

    Molly

    Zuppa Toscana. That’s my dish. When I don’t know what to make, when I’m having people over, when it’s the middle of an icy winter or the heat of summer, the answer was always zuppa toscana. I got the recipe off Pinterest, one of those Olive Garden copycats, but my version put theirs to shame. Read more

  • Identity

    Molly

    “Molly,” I turned from my cooking at the stove, facing the young girl I care for. “Are you good at painting nails? Would you paint mine?” I gave her a smile, and told her I’d love to. We sat across from one another at the kitchen table, her petite hands laid out in front of Read more

  • Am I Worthy of Love?

    Molly

    I know, after a months long hiatus, what a gut-punch title. What an awful break to the silence. But ultimately, that’s life; it’s full of gut-punches and silence and terrible admissions about terrible thoughts. The truth is, I’ve always questioned this, even as a young child I have vivid memories of wondering if I deserve Read more

  • Commonplace

    Molly

    Sometimes, I cannot help but think life would be easier if things weren’t so difficult. If everything just went the way I planned. If it weren’t so hot on a long run, if there wasn’t traffic on the way to work, and if I didn’t need to be on hold for fifteen minutes. Life would Read more

  • The Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Done

    Molly

    Have you ever free climbed up the side of a mountain, on your hands and knees, with almost no crevices to place your feet, and nothing to stop you from sliding off if you lose your footing? I have, it’s horrifying, and last year, it was the hardest thing I’d physically ever done. When I Read more

  • New Year, Same Me

    Molly

    I meant to write this almost a month ago; I meant to do a lot of things almost a month ago. But I had a health scare, then devastating news, then I went on a trip, then I got stuck in Sydney, then I worked a lot, and everything I usually do at the beginning Read more