Category: Journal Entries

For the last three years, I’ve thought that breaking the cycle meant leaving. The cycle of generational trauma, accepting abusive behaviors, and making myself small to extend space for others. I held firm to the quote, “We break the cycle before the cycle breaks us.” It’s been my lifeline on the darkest of days, when Read more

Zuppa Toscana. That’s my dish. When I don’t know what to make, when I’m having people over, when it’s the middle of an icy winter or the heat of summer, the answer was always zuppa toscana. I got the recipe off Pinterest, one of those Olive Garden copycats, but my version put theirs to shame. Read more

“Molly,” I turned from my cooking at the stove, facing the young girl I care for. “Are you good at painting nails? Would you paint mine?” I gave her a smile, and told her I’d love to. We sat across from one another at the kitchen table, her petite hands laid out in front of Read more

I know, after a months long hiatus, what a gut-punch title. What an awful break to the silence. But ultimately, that’s life; it’s full of gut-punches and silence and terrible admissions about terrible thoughts. The truth is, I’ve always questioned this, even as a young child I have vivid memories of wondering if I deserve Read more

Sometimes, I cannot help but think life would be easier if things weren’t so difficult. If everything just went the way I planned. If it weren’t so hot on a long run, if there wasn’t traffic on the way to work, and if I didn’t need to be on hold for fifteen minutes. Life would Read more

Have you ever free climbed up the side of a mountain, on your hands and knees, with almost no crevices to place your feet, and nothing to stop you from sliding off if you lose your footing? I have, it’s horrifying, and last year, it was the hardest thing I’d physically ever done. When I Read more

I meant to write this almost a month ago; I meant to do a lot of things almost a month ago. But I had a health scare, then devastating news, then I went on a trip, then I got stuck in Sydney, then I worked a lot, and everything I usually do at the beginning Read more

The beginning of last week was an absolute dumpster fire of bad news. The kind of news that leaves you crippled on your bed while you cry. Sometimes, it feels like right when life starts to pick up and get better, I’m kicked down even harder. But you know what? It’s going to be okay. Read more

Part of my to-do list for this week on my self-proclaimed happiness for beginners journey, was to watch the movie adaptation of Happiness for Beginners. Lets just say it took less than fifteen minutes into the movie and there were enough, “No no, in the book…” moments to frustrate me into pausing it and finding Read more